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Helping our Parents or Loved Ones in Financial Distress

by LaTonya in Calm the Mind

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Are you in a situation where your parents, a friend, or other loved one is facing financial distress?

Looking for a way to encourage them, help them, support them?

Then read here for some pearls of wisdom from a coaching client on this very issue….

Cathy’s Dilemma

I’d like to share with you some of the revelations of a recent client who came to me distressed over what she could do to help her parents, who were experiencing severe financial distress.

This client, let’s call her Cathy (not her real name), well, Cathy was very concerned about her parents, who found themselves at a point where, every month after paying all of their bills, they only had a couple hundred dollars left over.  This had been going on for a long time.

Cathy was very distressed over this.  Afterall, her parents were wonderful people and after having worked so hard throughout their life, they were now in their twilight years and should have been living comfortably and fancy free.   Instead, her parents were being confronted will bills, bills, bills and she saw it slowly destroying them in mind, body and spirit.

Cathy wanted to be able to help her parents, but was unsure how to do it. She considered herself very spiritual, but was questioning what her role could be to help them.  Afterall, she said, “If I’m so spiritual, why are my parents in this situation?”  Cathy also found herself questioning whether she had the spiritual strength of belief to help her parents and she was also a bit angry at the world for putting them in that situation.  For how could such kind, loving and generous people be in such a predicament?

Cathy was so distressed over the situation that she found it almost impossible to discuss it with her friends, choosing instead to push it into the back of her mind.  But that wasn’t working.  Cathy noticed that not only was the issue crushing her parents, but it was starting to eat her up as well.  She was feeling heavy and down and depressed, hopeless over the situation to the point of having stomachaches and beginning to cry whenever she thought about it.

Being without the financial means to contribute to her parents’ bills, Cathy’s goal was to figure out other ways to help ease their pain and distress.

So that’s the backdrop and here’s where the magic starts.  Below I will share some of the conclusions and inner wisdom Cathy found within herself during our session.  This is one of the reasons why I love coaching!    I really enjoy helping others connect with their own Divine Knowing and, through the process, I am reminded time and time again of just how wise we all are.  Cathy (again, not her real name) has given permission for the sharing of some of the details of her session and this is shared  in the hopes that others  may find some peace, comfort and helpful ideas to apply to anything similar going on in their lives.

CATHY REALIZED SHE NEEDED TO HELP HERSELF FIRST!

1.  Address any Fears You Have Around the Issue

I’ve noticed that sometimes we question our abilities to help another “see the Light” of a current situation.  We wonder whether we’ll be able to convey the spiritual truths and principles that we see working in our own lives to another in a way that is adequate, meaningful and understandable to the other person.

Cathy knew she’d have to be bold enough and strong enough to remind her parents of their God given abundance and their ability to create their own environment.  Cathy knew of and lived the “change your thinking, change your life” philosophy, but she was worried about broaching the subject with her parents about whether there were any limiting beliefs at play in their lives that were helping to create the situation.  Cathy questioned whether she was a “good enough” person spiritually to effectively counsel her parents in a way that would help achieve the results she wanted – an improvement in their financial situation.

Cathy was also fearful about what would happen EVEN IF SHE WAS ABLE to share that information with her parents.  Even if she boldly reminded them of their creative power over their lives, what if they refused to remember that and instead, said “hogwash” and continued playing the role of being a victim of circumstance?

The “what then” for Cathy involved her seeing and picturing in her mind how her parents would endure more and more hardship, hurt and distress and these pictures and thoughts were painful to Cathy.  Again her stomach knotted up, and she began crying and then declared it was time to change the topic because she just couldn’t handle talking about it anymore.

I find that sometimes when I’m really close to an issue, I have limiting beliefs that come up within myself that must be addressed BEFORE I can get calm enough, quiet enough to go within to hear the still, quiet voice of Spirit.  Often before we can help others, we must help ourselves so we can come from a place of our own Divine Knowing to effectively help others connect with theirs.

Here are some tools I find helpful in addressing fears and limiting beliefs that come up (often more than I’d like!):

  • Meditation
    • EFT (“Emotional Freedom Techniques”)
    • Prana Breathing
    • Journaling

I’ll be sharing more about the topics of meditation and journaling soon.  Click here for more information on EFT.

Now back to Cathy…

Cathy decided to address the emotions and feelings in her physical body that came up around this issue as if the emotions were real, tangible, live energies attempting to communicate something to her.  She was willing to have a conversation with her inner self presenting to her as her emotions.  And, as so often happens, here’s where Cathy’s Higher Self entered, Cathy’s guides entered, God entered and the Love entered and began having a conversation with Cathy… loving her, guiding her, sheltering her, encouraging her…giving her hope.

2.  Is your Worldview a Positive or Punishing One?

After Cathy faced her fears about the safety and security of her parents, she was able to refocus and settle into herself, and when she did, she heard this question asked by the still, quiet voice within:  “What’s your view of the world, Cathy”.

For Cathy, this was a reminder that she had to decide  – were her parents magnificent creators experiencing a situation brought to themselves by themselves to show them and remind them of their grandness or were her parents victims of a punishing world conspiring against them, just waiting to leave them destitute, homeless, alone, unhappy and afraid?

My experience has been that we bring to ourselves situations as an opportunity for growth and remembrance of Who We Are.  When faced with our own situation or that of another, we must decide which framework or perception of the world we’ll choose to view the situation from.  Are we victims of our circumstances and a punishing world or did we choose to come here as grand creators to experience Earth as our playground where can bring to ourselves and create whatever we’re sending out in our thoughts, words and deeds?

What do you believe?
Not from your head, but in your Heart of Hearts, your sacred heart.
What’s your worldview?

Do you believe the world is a dangerous place filled with pain and suffering hiding around every corner, just waiting to punish us if we don’t do it right, say it right, live it right and please God appropriately? Do you believe that,

OR

Do you believe in a world filled with good, with angels disguised as humans who bring to you gifts always?  Do you believe in a world where you truly are guided, protected and loved at all times?

In any situation, we have free will and can choose whatever worldview we want.  But I’ve noticed that each of the two views leads to totally different spaces.  One is disempowering and leads to fear, helplessness, depression and anger.  The other empowers us and leads to peace, strength, determination, love, and hope.

3.  Avoid Attempting to Control

I’ve also learned that sometimes, when I move into fear about how another person’s situation looks, what I’m really trying to do is to control.   By wanting another’s life to look like and feel like and be the way I’ve chosen is best for them, what I’m really trying to do is to have control over them and their life (so that I can indirectly or vicariously feel like I have more control over my own life and “world”).

I find that, instead of that, we can choose to allow others their path, their experience, knowing that no matter what, even if they died penniless today, they cannot ever truly be hurt.  Know that your loved ones (and even your next door neighbors and coworkers!) are eternal angels disguised as humans – eternal ever changing energy forms, souls having a physical experience, not bodies that can be forever hurt and denied future existence.

Importantly, I’ve found that as I allow others the freedom to live their lives as they choose, my own sense of freedom expands as well.  If I feel free, then I feel thankful, then I fill joyful, and its from there that I’m creating the life of my dreams!

CATHY ALSO CAME UP WITH CONCRETE SOLUTIONS FOR HOW TO HELP HER PARENTS.

After taking some steps and time to usher in peace for herself at that moment in time, Cathy’s sense of helplessness lifted and she became inspired to develop an action plan for how to approach her parents about their financial situation.

4.  Remind Others that They Have the Power of Choice

Cathy’s inner wisdom also reminded her that her parents have choices.  First, Cathy realized that her parents have a variety of very left-brained (logical) approaches they could use in their situation.  She came up with the ideas that she could remind her parents of their power by asking them questions such as:  What’s your weekly or monthly budget?  How much do you choose to set aside to pay for this or that?  How many credit cards do you need?  How many cars do you really need? Where do you want to simplify to experience a more meaningful and peaceful life?

Second, Cathy’s intuition encouraged her to remind her parents that they too have the power of choice as to whether they’ll view their situation from a viewpoint of lack or from a viewpoint of gratitude for what they DO have in their lives right now.

Remember, under the Law of Attraction, if we view from a place a lack, that will simply lead to more experiences of lack coming into our lives.  Choosing to view a troubling situation from a viewpoint of gratitude and thankfulness for what we DO have, will lead to us experiencing more and more to be grateful for!  Cathy’s inner wisdom asked her to remind her parents of their power to choose – their power to choose their worldview (see above) and their power to choose to view their situation from a perspective of lack or a perspective of abundance.   A very right brained approach!

So by working with her own intuitiveness, Cathy was able to develop these and other approaches – some were left-brained (logical) approaches like you might see on your average financial tips news show, while others were very right-brained (creative, expansive, having to do with the bigger picture –   like one’s worldview and whether to perceive one’s situation from a standpoint of lack or gratitude).

5. The Most Powerful Thing We Can Do

Cathy chose to remind herself that her parents are indeed magnificent creators, as was she, and she chose to remember that whatever her parents were experiencing at the moment, that was the right and perfect experience for their path at the time.

Cathy experienced an Ah-ha and realized that the most powerful step she could take to help improve her parents’ situation was to keep her parents in her prayers and to send them Love and Light to surround them with “Light” in the hope that their path would become illuminated so that they themselves could “see” whatever changes and steps were necessary for them to take at that moment.

MY OWN GIFTS FROM THE PROCESS!

Through the session, I was reminded that we are all loved, guided, and protected always and in all ways.  The solutions for whatever problems we face are but a mere breath away. The answers whispered to us through our heart of hearts, our sacred heart, are the solutions that are right for us on our path at this moment.  Our answers may not be the answers most appropriate for another as we are on our own path.  We are all united and connected on this journey of life, but the winding path of our walk through the forest may differ in scope, quality, quantity and purpose from the meandering voyage of another.

The most powerful thing I can do to help another is to refrain from judging the path of others and instead send them Love and Light and allow them the freedom to experience their path in whatever way is right for them.   I know that we cannot be hurt and will be guided towards the right answers for ourselves, if we will but choose to go within to seek them.  My joy is to support, “coach!”, encourage and remind us all of the gloriousness of that inner journey.

Cathy explained that the entire experience of going through the angst and turmoil over her parents’ situation and then addressing her own fears, and then going within and accessing her own intuition to develop useful solutions to the dilemma was extremely helpful for her.  I personally witnessed Cathy going from a stance of fear and helplessness, to becoming bright with hope and possibility to being determined and solidified in her own authentic power. Sometimes, we can help others by standing in our own authentic power and holding space for another while they go through their process.

So this was my client Cathy’s story (again, not her real name) and I share it with you as an example of 1) the power of coaching and 2) the Divine Wisdom that lies within each of us and 3) the power we each have to help others through the sharing of our stories.

While I served as Cathy’s coach on this issue, what she was experiencing was similar in some ways to a current challenge in my life.  So the divine wisdom Cathy accessed and shared with me during the coaching session, not only dramatically improved her mental, spiritual and emotional balance, it also improved mine.  And for that I am thankful.

I thank you, Cathy, for sharing your story, and I thank you who are reading this for allowing me to share this beautiful moment with you.

Love, peace and blessings,

LaTonya

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